In a world where people are measured by their successes and possessions, being in a place of active healing or growth can feel unimportant, or unworthy of mentioning. Until you reach some threshold or space that is easy to describe and measure with a checklist, you can feel like a draft in the book that is our story. It is often during these times where you can feel stuck, or lured by the familiarity of past perceived failures to just give up, especially if you can’t tell how far you’ve come. I personally feel like having a journal or safe person that you can have these conversations of processing feelings or events that trigger you is just as important as it is for gym-goers taking progress pictures. As cringey or embarrassing as it may feel to verbalize or write out the evidence of emotions that bring us shame or upset, this is how we can witness the journey of growth that we are on. I would be willing to bet that with the right ‘training’, be it working with a personal therapist, seeking the advice of a trusted spiritual or familial elder, or working with your doctor to find a medication that helps you meet each day, you will start to see that you are changing. These changes can be hard to trace when they are happening at an emotional or reactionary level. Sometimes, you might find those first reactions and responses have not changed as much as you had hoped, forcing you to reexamine the triggering event from other lenses. Sometimes, you will breathe a sigh of relief, or feel a smile creep across your face as you hear your inner monologue shifting to a more positive or loving direction. This is where you can feel it – the seemingly small changes in our impulses and behavior will start to grow over time. That said, change and growth are not linear; you might find yourself in a place that compels you to regress to a version of yourself that both exists within you and you are actively detaching from. You might still find yourself responding to situations with these outdated behaviors and patterns, and that is okay. Changing behaviors and responses that are activated by stress, anger, and fear are incredibly difficult to change. Why? Because you are actively defying what our brain is telling us to do. A brain that is only meant to keep us alive and ‘safe’, but is not meant to make us happy. For many of us, these behaviors date back to early childhood. So please, be patient and kind to yourself. Know that your consistency and showing up for yourself is what is making these desired changes a reality. Imagine how much dedication, resilience, and curiosity must be utilized to change decades of conditioned responses. This is not for the faint of heart. And while there are spiritual and medical professionals out there to collaborate with, there is not a singular correct way to get to this point of responding and reacting to this world in a way that reflects your heart and unique being. So reader, are you measuring your gains? Tracking your progress? I promise that if you do, you will see that you are changing in the ways you hoped that you could.